Months 4 & 5: Becoming Zoe
I can barely even enumerate the ways in which we’ve all changed and developed in these last two months. Let me just describe the situation I’m currently in. I’m sitting at the breakfast bar in a two-bedroom apartment in Miracle Mile, chatting with your dad, listening to music at a regular volume, with a video baby monitor showing me an adorable you, asleep in your crib. I mean, WHAT?
In the last two months, we’ve moved house, started you in daycare, gotten you to sleep on a schedule (11-12 hours through the night, and 3 naps throughout the day) and in your own room, flown with you for the first time, and gotten through your first cold (damn planes). I’ve gone back to some work, and start a full-time job next week. Babes, the Phoenixes are on a routine now! And it’s friggin’ amazing!!!
Possibly due to the routine, possibly due to daycare, possibly due to just being older — you are Full On Awesome these days. Just thinking about your personality and interactions with us now versus the last time I wrote two months ago is mind-boggling, and I’m so glad that what everyone said was true: Time did pass! Things are better! We did make it!
Nowadays, you’re full of smiles, from the moment I come greet you in the morning (in your holiday jammies, so cute!):
to your obvious gusto for your toys and playmat:
…which has been a godsend in itself — it sounds idiotic now, but a few months ago, I don’t think your dad and I ever realized there would be a future when we could easily put you DOWN. Nowadays, we plop you on your playmat or in your Bumbo chair (thanks, Goodners!), and while we keep an eye on you, we can also do other things with our time! Or we can sit on the ground and play with you AND the toys, which is also pretty damned awesome.
You’re currently at the stage where while on your back, you can roll over to your side, grab toys, and attempt to put them in your mouth (like you do with everything, duh.). While on your tummy, you can tuck your arms together under your chest, look all the way up and to the sides with your head, and adorably, you keep trying to stick your butt up and get traction under your knees.
Let me just go on record here as saying that I CAN’T WAIT for you to crawl. Seriously. I don’t even care that you’ll get into everything, that I won’t get to take my eyes off you for a second. I don’t care! Just thinking about your utter joy and excitement in learning new skills makes me all giddy — CAN’T WAIT.
These are the moments that I think “This. This is why I wanted to be a parent.” To be frank, that was certainly a question that I asked myself many many times in your first few months. The enormous responsibility of taking care of another person, of keeping you safe and happy — for months, it yawned in front of me like a huge abyss that I could never completely fill. But now, not only does it seem slightly easier, but the daunting task is also balanced by the joy and pride I have in observing and gently guiding your growth. No longer just some cute little baby-thing, every day you take another step towards becoming Zoe, who smiles with her tongue sticking out! Zoe, who prefers sitting to laying down, but whose true obsession is standing! Zoe, who takes a little time to wake up from a nap, so don’t talk to her too much in those first few minutes! Zoe, who likes to interject hilarious growls into the brief lulls in Mom and Dad’s conversations! I know these sound minute, just teeny glimpses of the person that you’ll be, but I’m hooked, sweetie. It’s like that first time you hang out with a new friend that just GETS you, and you realize that though you’ve just said goodbye, you can’t wait to hang out again. While, hello, I certainly enjoy your periods of sleep, I have also begun to absolutely savor the waking periods too, when we get to discover and delight in each other. So, hip hip hooray, my girl! Here’s to so much fun in our future!!
Love,
Mama
